Seven years later – a letter to my wife

M,

Some people say some people say and I’m some people so I say that some people say my life didn’t begin until I met you and until I met you I thought that they thought too much of their encounters. And now, seven years later I believe that (at least some of them) were right.

Did my life begin when I met you. My new life? If so, seven years later, my life begins again – with a perfectly imperfect partner, a two year old wonder and something else. My old life of emotional void has been replaced by a singular emotion: love.

Now new emotions and feelings come in every hour on the hour. I don’t know what to do with any of them. Seven years later my eyes have started producing tears even when I’m not yawning, especially when it is random – but not without appreciation.

Seven years ago, over ninety percent of what came out of my mouth was a lie told only to fulfill a need for attention and affection. When I met you that didn’t just stop. It got better, but not perfect. No guilt had ever entered into the equation until now, seven years later.

But thinking hard, I believe my life didn’t begin when I met you, seven years ago, after all which leads me to believe that all of those people who said my life didn’t begin until I met you were full of shit.

My life did begin again recently. When I met me for the first time. So, seven years later, my life has finally begun.

It’s odd that a life begins with a partner like you, a sweet angel of a baby girl and a wonderfully wild little boy whom I love and wish I had more time with. I am born with baggage, but I am trying to leave it behind – forgetting about it in time. And with you all of that is possible. So, seven years later – seven years after I met you, my life begins because of you.

My life is not perfect as no life is ‘perfect’, but I am striving to make it as perfect as I can. I met you seven years ago and my life changed forever. More so than in the sixth grade when I was introduced to a large school with outside influences and then in seventh grade when I attended public school and was bombarded by all things new. So, twelve years after that my life changed – revealing a glimpse of who I could have always been, who I was meant to be and who I would become. Now, seven year later, I am becoming that man. A rebirth. A new beginning. A new life. Life begins seven years after I met you.

Now, in seven years – seven years later, I pray to whatever deity you wish to associate yourself with, that I continue to grow in my new life, my new beginning, and I am even closer to my goal of a happy family, a happy marriage, a happy me.

I will love you until the end and then again when the end becomes the beginning and even further until time stands still and we turn to dust floating off into the void, after energy dies and there is nothing except my love for you and then even further. That will never change, never even in seven times seven multiplied by seven to the seventh power and then seven more millenniums combined with seven rebirths of forever.

Thank you for allowing me to be yours.

Yours.

She will probably never see this.

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4 thoughts on “Seven years later – a letter to my wife

  1. Please show her this, let her read it. When the time is right, but don’t hide it. This is beautiful. Not cheesy beautiful, but real, beautiful. Life– Beautiful.

  2. I have Bipolar Type I, and I am the exact opposite of an emotional void, although due to medication, I cannot cry and I also don’t get very emotional which is very different for me.

    I am glad that you chose to give that letter to your wife. Sometimes, you can only say what you really mean and want to say in the written not spoken word. That letter was a beautiful commentary on your devotion to her, your child, and even to yourself.

    songtothesirens

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