Not In A Good Place

Since medications were stolen, I am not only going through withdraw, but having major anxiety attacks. I am not sleeping and I can’t shake the feeling of large bugs crawling under my skin, just pushing and pushing their way out. My moods are all over the place and the paranoia is so bad that I am barricading the doors and widows and refusing to leave the house. I even tore the house apart today looking for audio or visual devices (I found none).

I didn’t react this bad when I came off of heroin 10 years ago. Suicide is not an option, well its an option just not a valid one – I wish it was at times.

My wife and I are also not seeing eye to eye. She can’t handle my issues right now and I don’t know what to do.

I need help and my psych and therapist just aren’t doing the job. My dog is helping, but only a bit. I did think about throwing her out the widow when she went and did her business on the floor but I stormed off, yelled, put a hole in the wall and cleaned it up.

Then I patched the hole. Then the guy I may or may not have killed came to talk to me about God.

Anger is not my forte. I don’t know what to do with it, how to handle it, or how to vent it so I don’t hurt anyone.

Do I need to check myself in?

Do I need that much help or will it go away in time?

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4 thoughts on “Not In A Good Place

  1. Id check myself in if it were me. Being off meds they can help you get back on them quickly. What you are going through can be fixed. You dont have to suffer.

      • Hmmm….I’d seek a lawyers opinion about that. If you needed treatment in a hospital because you had cancer, they can’t use the illness against you. I would assume that having a mental illness is the same. At least it should be…..try and seek some legal counsel when you can. Take care and try to see your pdoc so you can get back on meds. I’m so sorry you are suffering.

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