Trying For Order or When Will I Burn Out

No matter what I do I do it with conviction and purpose (right or wrong). I do it with fervor and expect it to change someone’s outlook, life, etc. However, I usually lose interest in it or sputter out of steam quickly because I put so much into it so fast.

I hope this will not be the same, but I hope that about everything. This blog has lasted longer than most of my endeavors and I am striving for it to continue to last. I do so hope that some of you enjoy reading my daily musings.

Off track for a minute and then back to what I hope stays the course and goes the distance.

A question was asked, what defines writing as literature if all writing is not literature. My response was simple.

Literature is defined as: writings in which expression and form, in connection with ideas of permanent and universal interest, are characteristic or essential features, as poetry, novels, history, biography, and essays.

So in short, writing that has a form (traditional or experimental) AND expresses an idea, concept, purpose, belief, or even a notion is Literature.

My opinion is that if something can be taken away from the reading experience that is worth more than the random thoughts of the writer than it is literature.

I also think that blogging can sometimes be considered literature, but only rarely. I believe some of my posts are just me writing what comes to mind, but I think others are actually literature. I am interested as to what your opinions are on the matter (audience participation is good).

Okay back to the thing (thanks for all those that stayed with me).

I started a daily schedule for myself. It is not all inclusive as I hate change and if I planned out every second and something happened I would be afraid that I would have a melt down.

The first day it went well. I added physical activity to it (another thing I want to stick to – not just physical activity, but I will get to that in a bit) and by the end of the day I had completed everything I set out to and I felt good, more energized than I have been in a very long time. My mood was also spectacular.

Today (second day) I followed my schedule as closely as I could, but my ability to adjust to change was called into question. I had errand after errand thrown at me, an appointment with my psychologist that I forgot about, and ran to pick up a gift for my wife (not to try to make up, but to try to make her happy because she needs to be happy). I had a minor blow up (internally) when I spoke to my wife at the end of the day and she was nothing but negative and I had a minor melt down about 30 minutes before toddler bedtime (due to toddler being toddler), but overall I was even happier and (hard to believe) even more energized.

I know this is going to help, that is plainly obvious. I just really hope I can keep it up as my wife won’t assist me (she has too much of her own stuff and she doesn’t believe she should have to help me), my mother is not good at that and is not enough in my life to really do any good and my friends fall under the “not in my life enough” category as well so I am stuck doing it on my own. WISH ME LUCK (seriously).

The other thing, that I said I would get back to, that I have started is something that my wife started with me and while she doesn’t want help and is going to be reluctant to give me help,at least we are doing it together and that is incentive enough (I hope) to continue it. It is Weight Watchers. I am 5’9” and 232 lbs. I am obese. I know there are people bigger than me, but I also know some who are smaller than me and are still considered fat. I need to do it and it will help my self-image.

The last thing is an acne treatment from my upper back and shoulders. I have horrible skin. It looks worse than a sixteen year old going through late puberty that works at a grease factory in which he/she washes themselves in.

So those are 3 things that I have started (not including the blog) that I really want to (and in some ways need to) stick with for as long as it takes. The question is how long before I burn out on it all or will this time be different because the meds are starting to level out.

If you pray, pay for me please. If not do your thing. If you have no thing, please think positively when you think of me.

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2 thoughts on “Trying For Order or When Will I Burn Out

  1. Careful Friend, you are downplaying your ability….you can do this. I could have written so much of this post myself. Start small…you’ve already accomplished your blogging and you can keep it up. It’s theraputic and will help you unload what goes on in that brain of yours. Keep your schedule light, open and flexible. If mine is too rigid I literally go insane. Make sure you schedule enough free time for those “unexpected” things that might come up. As for the weight watches, yay! I have the opposite problem. I am anorexic and have a hard time forcing myself to eat. Unfortunately, there’s no programs available to help me, so it’s sheer willpower. And don’t beat yourself up when you slip, we all slip throughout our lives…..

  2. Pingback: The virtues of a group | The HeSo Project

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