My Day With My Daughter

I almost never have more than a couple of hours alone with my daughter as my anxiety does not allow it – it barely allows an hour or two. Last Saturday I had nearly all day with her.

My wife went shopping for several hours in the morning, slept when she got home and then went for a two hour pedicure afterwards. When she got home from that she sat on the couch and lost herself in her computer leaving me alone with my daughter for five or six hours and then virtually alone for another four or five hours. This left me with the task of finding something for us to do and curbing my anxiety and lack of confidence in myself.

I cannot force myself to go outside as I live in an apartment, next to a road, across from a community center – there are people all over the place, all the time. The anxiety would be fueled by the agoraphobia and the paranoia and there would be no way I could focus enough on my daughter. I considered the zoo, but without my wife I would have no one to lean on and the same thing would happen. So we were stuck inside as I had no interest in sharing my day with relatives. I was determined to handle this task on my own and enjoy the time as much as I possibly could.

So I broke out the new art activities I had recently bought for my two year old and we colored while my wife was shopping. She drew a beautiful picture on the window and then several on construction paper and custom coloring sheets I designed.

When the wifey got home my daughter and I watched a movie (six movies would play that day, but some of them were just on in the background).

While the movie was playing, we (pretend) ate in her kitchen, played house with the cardboard box I turned into a house and I brushed her hair while she told me about her soccer lesson and her week with her aunt who watches her.

When mommy left for her pedicure we brought out the finger paints. What was supposed to last for an hour or more only lasted twenty to thirty minutes. I showed my daughter my attempt at scrapbooking and we looked at pictures.

More movie watching and some cuddling. Reading and more (pretend) eating filled the time until dinner.

All in all in was a relaxing day where my anxiety and control issues only reared hard a few times (mostly while coloring and painting). I know that there is no way I could do that everyday and I found a new respect for those that do watch children all day lay. Multiple ones would drive me to swallow a bottle of pills and lock them in their bedrooms(s).

I am curious to know what issues arise in other people where children are concerned.

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