Mommy gets home from work at 5:45 pm during the week and lies on the chaise part of the couch, sitting her laptop on her lap and surfs the Internet until dinner. During dinner she browses the Internet on her smartphone. After dinner she gets back on her computer until Shortcake goes to bed. She then asks if I want to spend time with her and watch a television show. We agree on something and she gets back on her computer. She does to homework for about fifteen minutes, but does not put the computer up after that. When confronted about it she yells and screams that she is always doing something important. Meantime I play with Shortcake the entire time. Her idea of playing with our daughter is turning on Mickey Mouse so she is not bothered while she surfs the Internet.
I am not saying she is a bad mother because she isn’t. Most of the time, when I am not around, she is not on the computer – most of the time. During those times she takes the time to play with our princess. She rarely gets frustrated with her – rarely – and mommy really enjoys her time with her daughter.
They play dress up and have tea parties as well as color and read. This mainly happens on the weekends or when I can’t help but write because I just have to get something off my mind. I know, I complain about her being on the computer all the time and then I say that I am on the computer while my wife plays with our baby girl, but I get on the computer maybe twice a week, whereas my wife is on it 7 days a week for a minimum of four hours a day and an average of six hours a day. That is a quarter of the day. That may not sound like much but my daughter is only awake for 12 hours, so half the time she is up my wife is on the computer (on an average day).
If she wants the news, which she says she reads, she could turn on the TV and still pay attention to our daughter and me. If she wants to play games on her phone, she should wait until after 8 when our daughter goes to bed. I wouldn’t mind if she played with her phone while we cuddled, just if she asks me to spend time with her then put the frigging phone away and spend time with me.
I thought I would be smart and turn off the Wi-Fi, but the phone has 3G and can still connect. I figured her battery would die, but she just plugs it in and sits next to the plug. So during the week her attention is almost completely focused on her computer and her phone. On the weekend she does put it does occasionally and spend time with our daughter, but I rarely get alone time with her without the interference of her toys. I guess it could be worse – she could be addicted to video games.
The worse (at least in my opinion) is when we go to bed. If I do not initiate intercourse then she is glued to that phone until she falls asleep. No cuddling. No touching. Nothing at all. We have a king size bed and She lays so close to the edge that I am scared she might fall off. If I go to her and cuddle she pretends I am not there.
I have had the separation talk with her and she cried so I am relatively sure she still loves me, but she doesn’t show it and she concerns me with how little she shows it for Shortcake. She even ignores her when she cries for mommy and to me that is a horrible thing. I have brought that up, but she thinks I am calling her a bad mother. I just don’t know what to do.